six

Posted: April 13th, 2011 | Author: me | Filed under: Days | No Comments »

INT – APARTMENT – DAY

Dan and Scott are sitting at a table (Dan is reading from the paper while Scott is eating cereal) while Lisa is on the couch doing a crossword on a folded newspaper; all are silent.

LISA
Hey, what’s a three-letter word for dumb?

SCOTT
Dan.

DAN (TO SCOTT)
Oh thanks man, very funny.

DAN (TO LISA) (CONT’D)
Dim.

There’s a quiet pause while Lisa fills in the puzzle.

LISA
How about a six-letter word for barren?

SCOTT
Daniel.

DAN (TO SCOTT)
You’re a real comedian, you know that?

DAN (TO LISA) (CONT’D)
Barren is six letters.

LISA (ANNOYED)
Well then another six-letter word.

DAN (ANNOYED)
I don’t know…
(Pause)
Fallow?

Lisa thinks for a minute, considers it favourably, and writes in the solution.

LISA
Five letters; desperate.

Scott opens his mouth, but Dan speaks first, dropping his paper.

DAN
Don’t you dare say my name.  I swear if you say my name I will kill you in the most painful manner I can.

Scott looks mischievous, and is clearly conflicted.

SCOTT
Nnhh…

DAN
I’m not kidding.  I will beat you senseless, I will research terrible accidents, and I will prepare the top five for you in the worst “Countdown” of your short awful life.

SCOTT
Nnhh…

DAN
You think I’m joking?  Look at me.  Look at my face and decide if I’m joking.  Say my name and find out just how serious this face is.

SCOTT
Da-

DAN
Don’t you dare!  And don’t for a minute think the last twelve years of our friendship will give me even the slightest pause!  I’m a reasonable man but I will not hesitate to end your miserable existance.

SCOTT
Fine!

Scott angrily shoves a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

SCOTT (CONT’D)
Jesus…

LISA
(Under her breath)
Doesn’t fit.

DAN
Thank you.

Dan goes back to reading his paper, and flips around the pages.

LISA
Five-letters.  Blank and the Dinosaur.

SCOTT
Danny!

Dan slams down his paper and shoves his chair away from the table.

DAN
That’s IT!

EXT – GRAVEYARD

Dan, in a suit, is standing in front of a headstone with his head bowed.  At the headstone’s base, a library book leans against the edge.

DAN
Look, I- I didn’t read a lot as a kid.  I’m sorry.

 

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