four

Posted: April 9th, 2011 | Author: me | Filed under: Days | No Comments »

Today I melted.

I became a puddle as I did, my edges spreading in an uneven ellipse like a child’s drawing of the sun.

I flattened wide, losing all stratification.  I became all surface.

I was clear and clean.  Secret-less and substance-less. Like a window.

The ground was visible through me.  The world shone off my surface, inverted.

People walked through me and took some of me with them.  They left me a little less of myself.

I felt their steps and rejoiced in the contact, touched deeply; deeper than I thought I was.

Some people paused in me, to cool or because they hadn’t noticed my presence.

The former was good and I was glad to be of help, but the latter hurt and left me keenly aware of my transparency.

When I felt like feeling, I longed to be noticed.

But when the sun shone on me and I showed people the sun, they complained and shielded their eyes.

This, too, took from me and left me smaller.

Many people passed through me, and each time I reveled in the chance to affect them, to give them some part of me to take with them.

I began to notice my size and the shrinking form of my shape.

I was less of myself.  When people touched me there was no depth.  The contact was all shallow.

Now I felt like feeling, and I wished for companionship.

I wished for someone to melt in me, to make of us both a larger puddle.

To make a child’s drawing of the sun.  To shine the world off our surface, inverted.

I felt each person passing through me, judged why we might strengthen each other.

I wanted her by her narrow sole.  I hoped for him through his strong heel.

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I am precious small now.  I am very little of me.

Few people walk through me, and I rarely feel like feeling.

When I do, I hope.

Maybe the next one.

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